SMART(?)PHONE
Social media, by its very algorithmic nature, distorts reality. It distorts and from there impacts the real world. Your real world and that of others. This is a scientific fact.
Restless
We know it’s something you need, we know you cannot be without it, and we know how important it is to stay connected to your loved ones. This chapter is just to give you some background information and you can make your own conclusions. We are not asking you to drop the phone, all we ask is some observation.
In your boredom and waiting during the whole asylum procedure, in your insecurity, and in reliving your traumatic events, you will need something to fill the vacuum or to kill the craziness that’s unfolding around you. You (and any other citizen for that matter) need your daily dosis of distractions and soothing so you can avoid your problems, and in particular, avoid yourself.
Distractions all around the world, refugee or not, basically work as a tool for suppressing something that lies deeper in the mind, somewhere in the unconscious. Certain thoughts, emotions and feelings we simply don’t want to confront. We have decided on terms like entertainment or information but from the top management at COA to the new arrival in Ter Apel they all want to get away from the inner restlessness. In case of traumatized refugees there is just a higher degree of getting away from it, of pushing it down, compared to the average man. And of course it’s only one click away to do so. You can “forget” in countless ways nowadays — instantly offered by society. Think of social media, YouTube, TikTok, Netflix, sex, smoking, shopping, food, alcohol, drugs, or any other distraction that prevents you from understanding what’s going on inside of you.
Soothing or distracting looks like replacing that which boils up to the surface of your conscious mind. It can replace the boredom, restlessness, bad memory or any discomforting feeling by something that gives you short term pleasure. This “entertainment” simply puts the focus on something else. Hence your constant doing. Doing things, whatever it is. It’s nothing but a constant forgetting, a constant numbing.
And distraction is not always pleasurable in the classical sense of the word. For example when you follow the media. Any media but many refugees follow all sorts of media that give updates about what is happening in their country or with fellow refugees along the way. The mind will justify its importance which is understandable: “I need to be informed” but that’s one of the mind’s tricks because in its very nature it wants to be occupied. Some refugees I know got addicted to vivid images of all the misery that surrounds war and the whole refugee phenomenon. Getting addicted to this kind of information is a constant stress and trauma reminder. It is strengthening the traumatic narrative.
In this chapter we emphasise on the phone because it’s so obvious but remember that whatever distraction you use, and this goes for everyone, you are programming your body and mind on short term gratification which will undermine your motivation for long term goals. Any goal that takes effort, also to confront trauma or change lifestyle, will be more difficult, if not impossible. You program yourself on the side of comfort and will eventually lack the energy to really accomplish something. If you are addicted to your phone, and I know for a fact that many of you are, then it will be more difficult to change to a healthy daily rhythm. Giving in to the boredom, dullness, and rumination through your phone, you are likely to stare at your device hours straight without you being aware of it. But though it soothes, though it’s a short relief from the pain, you are making things more difficult for yourself.
And sure enough it’s not an exception that also children have online access to extreme violence. Sometimes even because the camp provides access to Internet to everyone without supervision. A traditional Afghan mother hasn’t got a clue what her kids watch and what the effects are on their little malleable brains. Obviously this is the worst mind programming you can imagine.
Dopamine
Distractions thrive in many cases on the release of a molecule called dopamine. It is one of the most important energy molecules in your brain which is involved in mood, motivation, and rewards. Dopamine also gets released when using drugs or when you use social media. It is very addictive. Every time when someone responds to your social media message for example, every like or share you didn’t expect, brings a release of dopamine in your brain. It feels good. That’s why social media is so addictive — it’s dopamine at play.
To put dopamine into context, a recent study shows that there is also a release of dopamine when you feel stress and when you ruminate. Hence smartphone use only strengthens the whole mindfuck phenomenon of the last chapters. Social media (and its substitute identity), inner gossip, stress scenarios of the future, they all evoke the release of dopamine. And it can lead to the same changes in the brain just like a highly addictive substance like cocaine.
There is a lot more research we can discuss, more dopamine, more brain talk, more neurochemistry, more chapters, all words that can build a stronger case. A stronger statement to make you seriously address trauma and its lifestyle. But in the end it all boils down to you, to the exercises and the growth of your awareness. Why not give it a shot regarding your smartphone? First you give it a try, a serious try for let’s say 6 weeks, and then you make your own statement. Experiment with it. First become aware every time you pick up the phone. No judging, just become aware. Then become aware when that feeling comes to pick up the phone. You stop, you wait, you observe the emotion behind that action and sit it out. Sit out the restless feeling and do not pick up the device. That’s all you do. Exercise this. By and by you will notice something has changed.